A journey of a thousand miles begins with … a Safety Presentation! Jason Marsden (voice of Tasslehoff in the Dragonlance Movie) are caught among the crowds awaiting the start of Killer Breakfast with the ubiquitously federally-mandated-so-you-cannot-sue-us video. Keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times…
Angel Hickman Peterson as the Narrator
Jarod Hickman as the Young Helmeted Adventure
Tasha Hickman as the Young Babe Adventurette
We are trying to establish a complete cast list of participants. If you recognize yourself in this episode of the podcast, please leave a comment with your name, contact information and where in the video you saw yourself.
What would a fantasy role playing game be without a big-time, Broadway-style opening musical production number? Well, you would probably call it ‘sane’ but it sure wouldn’t be Killer Breakfast! Tracy and Laura Hickman — with the help of special guest Frank Mentzer (contributing designer to the original Dungeons & Dragons game as well as renown Gencon Auctioneer) – and the usual crew open the show with a no-holds-barred rendition of ‘Phantoms of the Ravenloft.’ (With apologies to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber and Charles Hart & Richard Stilgoe.) (Plus an additional apology to Tim Rice for incorrectly crediting him with the original lyrics in the video.) Sing along if you like…
(LAURA)
We wrote adventure games / for TSR
But one above the rest / Was quite bizarre.
Now it’s returned again / though not the same…
The Writers of the Ravenloft have come…
To play their game!
(TRACY)
Come play my RPG / for these two hours
We’ll kill more character’s / than ten Jack Baurs!
It’s Killer Breakfast time. You glance behind…
The Makers of the Ravenloft return…
To blow your mine!
(LAURA)
Those who have played the game / draw back in dread
Character’s spring to life…
(TRACY) … then drop down dead!
(DUET) And though you plead and beg / and roll your dice…
The DM of the Ravenloft will kill…
… and not think twice!
(Chorus: It’s Here … it’s time for Killer Breakfast! Beware! It’s time for Killer Breakfast…)
(TRACY)
In all of Ravenloft / Strahd was the best
The Lord Soth somehow came…
(LAURA) You know the rest!
(DUET) So we’ve returned again / To fix mistakes.
The Phantoms of the Ravenloft have come…
To up the Stakes!
In the opening moves, the players come out strong, proclaiming that there is life after killer breakfast with dinner at Hooters. Moreover, Henry Chi — a Killer Breakfast veteran — produces ‘VooDoo Tracy’ and temporarily takes control of the gamemaster!
Margaret Weis — having caused the Dungeon Master to collapse under warm sentimentality — is nevertheless knocked out of the game when she blatantly plugs her own booth number on-stage. Jason Marsden (the voice of Tasslehoff in the ‘Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight’ animated film) signs in as a horny kender riding the back of a large Amazonian Woman. One woman dances wildly in the background while Jason Marsden turns into a T-Rex … wiping out the entire table and carrying the dancing girl off with him.